Two Weeks is Too Little....

Another week has FLOWN by, and we're now to the "count down" days. Only 5 more days left of teaching our incredible kids, 2 more biblestudies with the girls, 2 more Sunday afternoon biblestudies, and 14 days left here in what now feels like our home, Uganda. It's a wonderful feeling and such a blessing to have TWO places I now think of as home and have my heart in. I am eager to see return to America and be with my sweet family and friends again, but my heart hurts at the very thought of having to leave the Eby's, the children at Zana, or this country in and of itself. It is truly something I thank the Lord for though, that He has given me an abundance of things to be thankful for on both sides of the world, in two opposite countries.

Lets see though, this week was filled with craziness at school as we administered mid-terms to the children each day. A mid-term for my Top Class tests their skills in language, social development, mathematics, and English. Unfortunately though, a lot of the material that was on the tests, were concepts that the children either had not understood when being taught, or had never even seen. Many words like "pineapple" and "sugarcane" were far above their reading level, making the questions that required them to draw these fruits quite difficult. It was hard for me to ignore their requests for help, and I can't lie, many times, I aided them and helped them along on a question until I was pretty much just telling them the answer myself:) I also couldn't help but smile when they were obviously NOT supposed to be helping each other, but the more intelligent ones would whisper the answer to those that are not quite as far along in the learning process. How could I discourage teamwork and being a good friend and helper? It just seemed wrong;) Needless to say, it was a full week, and one where I am thankful that the children are getting an education at all, but it also made me think about how much I would LOVE to stay here and give my life to helping educate these children in numerous ways and with various techniques that aren't used here yet. I just realized as I watched them take these tests, how important education is for them, how it is the only way that they will be able to help support themselves, their families one day, and even help influence their community and country. I am praying that if the Lord ever gives me the opportunity, I could come back and have a class of my own to teach, loving them each through their struggles and successes:) My heart is wrapped around these sweet children, to leave them in a week is going to hurt more than words can say. But it is such a comfort as I sit and look around the room everyday praying for them individually, that I know that even when I leave our great Heavenly Father will still be present here and will take care of them far better than I ever could!

Besides school everyday, we had wonderful biblestudies on Tuesday and Thursday on Purity and being ready for the coming back of Christ. The girls in our biblestudy asked many more questions this week, and we are so so encouraged with how we see them wanting to know more of the Word and what living for Christ looks like tangibly. There are many that are already so full of wisdom and know so much about the Scripture, and they are a constant encouragement and joy for me to listen to and learn from also. We also took another little outing on Tuesday to Kampala with Joel and Rebecca, as we made our way to the Cineplex downtown for a half-priced movie:) After two hours of waiting in traffic, we walked into the movie, hands full of popcorn and cokes! When we walked in Mary and I didn't know the movie had started (seeing how Joel had chosen the movie and we really had no idea what we were even seeing!). We sat down, talking pretty loudly, laughing, commenting on how much we loved a certain actor on the screen, thinking the whole time that we were watching the previews, and like all Americans at movies, you discuss each preview right?! Welllllll we soon learned, with a little bit of embarrassment, that this WAS the movie, not a preview, and we mine as well have been disrupting the whole place! I am sure every Ugandan in there was thinking, "Ignorant Muzungus" haha! We had a blast seeing "Battleship" though, and the four of us sang the whole way home, windows down, just enjoying a beautiful Ugandan night.

In our afternoons, Mr. Dave has pulled out some different movies for us to watch on Mormonism and the Jehovah's Witnesses lately, and they have been so educational and just fascinating, yet saddening to watch too. As we have learned about these people, we have seen men and women who believe they must kill each other for blood atonement, or a family that almost let their baby girl die because their belief in being a Jehovah's Witness did not allow for their daughter to be given a blood transfusion. It is heart breaking to see what choices people make due to the ideas and false teaching that other religions provide. While watching these though it hit me, why was I, Kadie Allen Payne, chosen by the Creator of the entire Universe, to be His daughter? Why wasn't I born in to a family that did not raise me to be a Christian? Where I might be in a home where they believe that their faith and actions are getting them to Heaven, but because they are not following Christ, their eternity is really in hell right now. I have been pondering so much on why do I get to be a Christian, saved by grace alone, who gets to spend eternity with the Father? Every bit of the Gospel: being chosen, being crucified for, I'm absolutely so underserving of and it baffles me beyond belief. This thought though, this recognition of how undeserving I am to have been chosen by God Himself, gives me such inspiration to share the Gospel more. One, because if I've been saved and chosen by this great price, then my only "debt" or "job" is to bring much glory to God. That's it, that's all God asks of me. That in return for Him giving up His perfect and blameless Son, He asks that I live a life that brings complete glory to Him. What deal could possibly be better than that?!:) But secondly, if I get this incredible blessing, I want to share it with as many as I can. I have know this my whole life. I know that there are non-believers, I know there are people going to hell. But I was once told that we should preach the Gospel to ourselves EVERY single day, and I think it' so true. Because with every single day, the Gospel becomes more real to me. And with that reality, comes a burning desire to share this Truth with those that are lost, so that they too can feel the incredible love and grace of what it means to be a daughter or son of the King.

On a sad note, I was told a story about one of the little girls in my class yesterday that brought me to tears. I have 35 children in my class, and although I love them all so much, it is hard to not want to hug on and love and laugh with the ones that are a little more outgoing and reciprocate the love. There is one sweet girl in my grade though whose name is Esther, and she is a little more reserved and less "lovey", but still so kind and always respectful and gracious. Yesterday, I was told about her life's story. A few years ago, when Esther was around 6 years old, she was seen limping with a cane on the side of the road by an MTW missionary here. The next day, the same missionary saw the her dragging herself now along the road, and so he stopped to see what was going on. Esther's leg was broken, and torn open, to the point where she had to have surgery and was hospitalized for 5 months to recover. It is said that he mother is absolutely crazy, like insane, and while the leg had been broken, she may have even taken part of the bone out of her daughter's leg. (This isn't actually 100% proven, but those I spoke to said this is what they heard). When Esther was better, her and her sister were taken back home now that she was healed. Within a day or two, the two sisters had run away from home back to the MTW missionary and another Pastor that lives here that had aided in Esther's recovery. The girl's mother had threatened to break Esther's leg again, and for years had been sending the girls out alone at night to get things for her, all along knowing that they were continually being raped by men in the town. The girls were removed from their home and are now in a safe living place and doing well in school for the most part. As I sit here and think about this story though, I am speechless when I think of all Esther has endured in her 8 years of living. I have not experienced HALF the pain that she has, half of the scars she will be left with, and I am twice her age. Although I already did love her, my heart goes out to her even more now, as I want to just hug her and wrap her up in my arms and tell her how much I love her. What I mostly pray though, is that Esther grows up not with resentment or bitterness, but instead a realization of how much Jesus loves her.

In hearing all this, I thought about how many other kids here have stories like that. How many teenagers or young children here have stories of violence or rape or have lived in the streets with nothing to eat before, no one who cares a thing in the world about them? It is hard to know, especially because many of my kids are limited in their ability to communicate in English. But it has opened my eyes to how much I want to show endless love and compassion and joy to every single individual I come in contact with, because you have no idea where they have been or what they are coming through. I pray that this realization will not only apply for me here, but that I will be convicted of this even more so in the US. It is so easy for us all to go about our busy days, and to love those that are maybe more talkative, show US love, or are involved in the things we are involved in. But I think about how every individual has a story, every person feels the effects of sin in this world, and has pain and suffering to some degree. I pray that my eyes will be opened to those that need encouragement and help, and that a day will not pass where I do not take the time to speak to a stranger, encourage someone I come in contact with, and take time out of my day to love on someone else. My biggest prayer here is that it will always be "less of me and more of Christ; less of me and more of others." I ask that you keep Esther in your prayers please, and also that this might challenge others like it has me, to reach out in love and gentleness to those the Lord places in our path.

Two weeks, that is all we have left from this exact day. My prayer is that these two weeks are filled with compassion, love, humility, teachability, grace, mercy, joy, and a desire to have God reveal more of Himself to us everyday. I continue to thank you for all the prayers, and hope you have a blessed Lord's day.

KK